“What are you going to do about your daughter’s hair?”
I get this question a lot. My daughter Emma has long, fine hair that is light brown with some glimmers of blonde. It flops on her face, covering her eyes. When I get her from the crib in the morning, her hair stands up on her head, as if being pulled in a dozen different directions. Sometimes one of the back pieces curls and a perfect little ringlet forms. She screams every time I try to put any kind of hair clip or band in her hair, but she goes up to other girls in the playground and happily points out their bows to me. The hair accessories I buy for her collect dust on her dresser. Emma’s hair keeps growing longer and more tangled. She likes to wipe her food in it; her sticky fingers leave crumbs on her bangs.
I try to manage Emma’s hair. Twice we went to our local kids hair salon. She sat in a toy jeep and watched Elmo movies while the stylists told her how beautiful she was. At the end, they gave her a balloon. She was happy. A few times after that, I was able to distract her so my mom could cut her bangs. I just wanted her to be able to see without having to brush hair out of her eyes.
This is my secret: I love her wild hair. It’s a true reflection of my daughter and I would never change her spirit and energy. Her hair reminds me of her happiness and freedom.
I know it will be different when she is older. It’s different for girls. I spent countless hours ironing my hair out as a teenager and sporting perfect pigtails as a child. Even now I stress about how I will find time to blow out my hair before going out to dinner. Messy hair seems to be taken a sign of irresponsibility or laziness. I always carry a brush in my purse.
When Emma runs around the house, her wild hair bounces behind her. Yes, I think. This is what toddlerhood should be like. Wild and free. So I let her hair continue to grow. I allow the natural curls to form on the back of her head. I inhale that sweet scent of her baby hair. My fingers run through the fine brown strands and I smile. Sometimes I try to brush it. She likes to put her barrettes on her dolls. I see the other little girls on the playground with beautiful headbands and tiny braided pigtails. Meanwhile Emma’s hair blows in different directions. Her bangs fall in her face again.
I suspect that one day she will slave over her hair, trying to make it straight or curly or wavy but for now, her wild tresses are simply perfect.
What am I going to do about her hair? Absolutely nothing.
This post appeared on the Huffington Post on January 7, 2015.
Sounds familiar!
🙂
stella’s hair is definitely less manageable than emma’s!
I had similar hair as a child; it reflected my personality. Someday she might be asking you to do her hair. My daughter used to never let me do her hair let alone brush it. But now I ask her if she wants Elsa or Anna braids. Today she told me she wanted a Rapunzel braid. Life is so much easier when everything isn’t a fight. #BLOGMA
Yup… i agree about the fighting! To me, its not worth it. I think her long hair is perfect. She also mentions the braids that Anna and Elsa wear, so perhaps I can try that when she gets older. Thanks for stopping by!
I love this and I HAD TO COMMENT! My daughter wears this exact same outfit and they look so similar! It spoke to me, wonderfully written! My little Ellee looks so much like your little Emma!;)
Aw thanks for much for stopping by! Emma loves her “tutu shirt!”
I have an 8 year old version of your daughter. She even dresses with a skirt, non-matching leggings and shirt. And I love it! Someday she’ll be all worried about her hair and clothes. And if she doesn’t, who cares? I love her wild style!
I know, right? It’s so amazing to let them embrace their wild side. 🙂 thanks for stopping by!
Love this post. Completely agree about perception people give when viewing hair appearance. Especially on small children. The idea is most times way off. I love that you’re letting her be her. Proud mom moment, I think. 😉
I love her just as she is and love that she doenst need to worry about doing her hair yet!
Great post! my mom did my hair almsot every day! I swore I would not put my girls through that :p he hate it, lol
Thanks Cinella!
As a Mom of two boys I notice that it’s a lot easier for my boys to get away with wild hair. I can’t imagine how anyone can meet the crazy high expectations some people have for children’s hair. I love this post. It’s so important for us to remember to relax and let out children be themselves. #BLOGMA
thanks so much for stopping by! emma’s hair is a wreck, but it is clean and she likes it how it is, so thats enough for me.
I love this! I take the same approach with my little one, and I’ve also created a clothing line that speaks to the free spirited and adventurous child while capturing the true essence of childhood! Check it out if you get a chance!!
wow, that is great! I will check it out!!
Your little girl, and her hair, are GORGEOUS!
aw, thank you!
Love this blog post! Saw it on Huff Post and came here to check you out — great insights!
I have pin-straight hair and two gorgeous children with wild and unruly curls — they’re gorgeous and unique, and we’ve coined it “Crazy Hair”! So…. what’s a work-from-home writing mom to do?
Of course, I published a book last fall called Crazy Hair to inspire self-confidence and teach differences. I thought I’d sell it to my friends and family, but it’s blowing up and I’m doing school visits and selling copies on Amazon, too. Check it out on FB! https://www.facebook.com/crazyhairBook?ref=aymt_homepage_panel
Or better yet 🙂 here: http://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Hair-Jill-Rivkin/dp/1500764310/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1421766245&sr=8-4&keywords=crazy+hair
Love your insight and appreciation of your gorgeous kiddo!
On a good day, my daughter’s curly hair is fab. On a bad day its a big rats nest.
I read this post when it was originally posted. She’s now 4.5 years old. If I ignore her hair or am too busy for a couple days to brush it, its quite a project. But I’ve learned some techniques that get us through it. If she’s not in the bath where I can coat her hair in conditioner I use a spray bottle with leave in conditioner and spray it down as I brush. It keeps it softer and bit by bit we get through it. She plays on the iPad or in the tub. I once straightened her hair for fun and she didn’t look like herself at all! So although its tough, my daughter’s hair rocks and she always gets compliments. But its funny. Her wild hair is such a contrast to her introvert personality!
Thats so great that you have found ways to manage her hair! My daughter is almost 3 and still wont wear her hair up or back, but we manage.
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