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The secret language of toddlers

February 11, 2015 15 Comments

My daughter is almost two and suddenly she has a word for everything. She speaks in incomplete sentences, full of improper grammar. She makes up her own words and combines them to describe what she sees. It’s like a puzzle to figure out what she is saying half the time, but with a lot of patience, I am usually able to decipher her code.

Instead of “yes” and “no,” she uses “yeah-kay” and “no-kay.” As in, “yeah, I’m okay,” and “no, I’m okay.” Every time she identifies the color red, she calls it “red-elmo,” and holds up her Elmo doll to show me that the colors match. When she wants me to lift her, she runs over to me, with her arms outstretched while yelling “carry-you!”

I love her personalized spin on language and her made up phrases. She talks to her stuffed animals, describing everything that she is doing with them. I occasionally catch a word or two when I hear her talking to herself in the crib. The world is big and beautiful in her eyes, and she has so much to say about it. The way she describes her surroundings is such an accurate reflection of toddlerhood.

When strangers talk to my daughter, I see how they sometimes dismiss her speaking as toddler babble. She speaks quickly and her words run together. It takes a lot of patience to understand what she is saying. But it’s not babble. Her words of full of meaning, but you need to listen, patiently, in order to understand.

I know this stage in her verbal development won’t last forever. And I want it to change, of course: for her to speak in full sentences with proper grammar. But there is something so special about the way she talks right now. She pulls whatever words she can from her existing library of language and combines them to narrate her world. It’s beautiful to hear her perspective spoken and it helps me to understand her in a deeper way.

When my daughter sees a crowded room, she calls it a “big party.” She calls every dress a “tutu” and anyone older than her is referred to a “big kid.” When it’s raining outside, she sings “rain-rain-go-away,” and acts like she is pushing the storm clouds out of the sky. I always say it with her, our own sun dance.

My daughter describes all of her activities and about her favorite part of each day. She fumbles around with words, putting them in the wrong order and using strange descriptors. But I understand. Of course I understand; I’m her mom.

Sometimes, she throws her arms around my neck while yelling “iloveyou!” She mushes the words together into one big phrase of love. My heart melts and part of me wants her to never say this sentence any differently. In these moments, I feel like it’s just the two of us in the world, speaking the secret, beautiful language of toddlers.

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This post was republished by the Huffington Post on February 17, 2015 and featured in the Parents section.

Comments

  1. lauren spencer says

    February 11, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    so awesome! and I see you both in your smiles!

    Reply
    • becky says

      February 11, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      thanks lauren! yup, she is starting to look more like me!

      Reply
  2. Gail says

    February 11, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Love this! I think all children have a lot to say and just need us to listen. Like your daughter, my son has a limited vocabulary, but is more expressive than many adults I know.

    Reply
    • becky says

      February 11, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      Yes… it requires a LOT of patience… 🙂

      Reply
  3. Diane says

    February 11, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    It’s so true. They all have such a lot to say. If we’d only listen! 🙂

    Reply
    • becky says

      February 11, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      I try! I know that she wont always speak this way and I am trying to suck up as much of it as i can.

      Reply
  4. Kimberly Scanlon says

    February 12, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    Isn’t toddler language development fascinating!! They learn a word, see that it’s meaningful and effective and then overgeneralize it for everything they think is appropriate – all part of vocabulary development. Enjoy it while it lasts, Becky! Pretty soon she’ll start speaking in full sentences and will tell you exactly what she means (e.g. “I can’t eat my peas, Mommy. I want cookies!). Great post!

    Reply
    • becky says

      February 13, 2015 at 7:18 pm

      thank you! i love her secret language, just as it is. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Alysha @ An Intentional Future says

    February 12, 2015 at 8:35 pm

    This is gorgeous. You will on day miss the special language you share. It’s such an honor to be a mother and to see the world through our children’s eyes, isn’t it?!?!

    Reply
    • becky says

      February 13, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      Aw, thank you. It is amazing.

      Reply
  6. Marianne says

    February 18, 2015 at 8:01 am

    Thanks for writing this article, Becky. I really relate to what you are saying. My son is the same – he communicates so much but no one takes the time to understand him, apart from me and his dad. I am enjoying it too, because I know it will not last, so these times are special :-).

    Reply
    • Becky Tountas says

      February 19, 2015 at 12:44 am

      Thanks for stopping by Marianne! There is something so special about this time… I know that my daughter will start talking like a “big kid” before I know it! I just want to savor these sweet moments.

      Reply
  7. Colette says

    February 23, 2015 at 3:55 am

    Thanks for posting this! It’s true it take a lot of patience but this time is so sweet. Our little one is 18 months and still not speaking many words, but continues to sign a ton! Her little baby signs are not perfect and most wouldn’t notice her signing, it really does feel like our own secret language.

    Reply
    • Becky Tountas says

      July 1, 2015 at 6:11 pm

      all communication between a parent and toddler are like a secret language. 🙂

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Why I Love the Secret Language of Toddlers | InTheKnow says:
    February 17, 2015 at 9:39 pm

    […] This post was previously published on Becky’s personal blog. […]

    Reply

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becky_150
After ten years as an attorney, I retired from the practice of law to become a stay-at-home mom. This gave me the opportunity to develop my lifelong love of writing. Today I am also a certified Holistic Health Coach and an ACE certified group fitness instructor. I believe in mindful living and present parenting. My writing has been published by the Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Literary Mama, Mamalode, Kveller, Elephant Journal, BlogHer, Bonbon Break, Mom Babble and Andrea Beaman's blog, among others.
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